I forgot how to make time for myself.

The pandemic was such an isolating time for many of us, and I think we all struggled with distracting ourselves from the outside world in any degree, and many of us came up with creative solutions to do so, whether that is doing starting new hobbies, starting a blog, staying in touch with friends more, getting a pet, etc. In my case while living alone, I decided to 1) take a bunch of online courses, 2) learn how to cook, and 3) establish a routine to better take care of myself, like yoga, working out, and reading.

After a few years, depending on your definition of when the pandemic “ended”, we’ve slowly but surely saw the world faze out of it and faze back into the pre-pandemic hustle bustle. Aside from some permanent adjustments made here and there like companies that allow remote work, outdoor seating set up (which I absolutely adore living in California), etc., everything almost feels too back to “normal”.

It’s great to be back to normal! For years, that’s what I wished for. I get to see people now, I get to go out, I get to actually do stuff!

Then why do I feel so empty?

Why do I feel like I’m constantly behind?

Why do I feel like I’m not doing enough?

Is this what I wanted?

That’s when I realized that I was starting to miss my life, or at least, some aspects of my life during the pandemic. I loved taking online courses and reading because I felt like I was actively working on myself. I loved doing yoga and cooking because I felt like I was slowing down time. I loved just sitting by the open window and feeling the cool breeze as I have coffee in my hand while been bundled in a blanket and reading my book in the morning before I headed into work (non-remote job). I originally started doing all these things with the mindset of “Well, I have so much time now, might as well make the most of it”, but what I didn’t realize was that I was actually curating my “me” space over time and how important it was.

In the last few years, I moved, my career responsibilities changed and accumulated, I gained new hobbies and commitments, etc. so needless to say, life looks pretty different from what it did before, and I’m sure many of you have also experiences a lot of changes that come from growth.

I’ve been internally battling how to keep “old stuff” while also trying to do “new” stuff, and now I feel like I constantly have way too much on my plate. And whenever I couldn’t do it all, I felt guilty for being inadequate, and just tried to do more and more.

I don’t know why it took so long for me to realize that that just sounds like a recipe for disaster. Or health problems. Maybe sprinkled in with some mental health exacerbations and breakdowns.

Simply put, I forgot how to make time for myself.

Let that sink in, as I also let myself sink that in too.

Now what’s hard is, you can’t just give up your current commitments to make the time. But if something that you’ve been putting on the backburner is truly important to you, then it’s worth adjusting your lifestyle. I haven’t gotten there myself either, but some things to consider if this post resonates with you in any way:

1. Assess your current situation

• List out your current commitments that you actively are juggling in your life
• List out the low-mid grade stressors that’s constantly on your mind

2. Assess what you’re missing and its level of importance to you

• List out the things that you’ve been meaning to get to but haven’t been able to
• Write the reason(s) why you’ve haven’t been able to get to them
• Write the reason(s) why you want to get to them

3. Practice, practice, practice

• Practice saying “no” to certain things
• Practice respecting your own boundaries
• Practice learning how to love your life again

Remember, your previous lifestyle(s) before and your current lifestyle don’t necessarily match for a reason. You just evolved with your situations, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Just remember to stop, reassess, and adjust as needed.

Best of luck taking your time back!